Creation Graveyard: An Ode to the ‘Could Have Been’
Your Art is the doorway to your soul.
An endless river of inner reflections.
You know you’re on to something when Creation has completely obliterated everything you think you are.
Renewed. You are bare.
Creation has humbled me, and I am completely and utterly devoted to the Mystery of it.
And if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you are too.
Dear Readers,
This week I have been tested in my Creative pursuits.
It seems I opened up a locked closet that I didn’t intend on seeing, fully acknowledging, or changing. It has been equally as painful as it has been ecstatic (as most things in Life).
Some reflections of the week:
Life will continue to ask us to refine, update, empty, and fill — in order to create space for a deeper Becoming.
Life will continue to reveal to us where we are not free – and if we listen, we may even break out of our own prisms and truly Create.
Working “hard” is simply subjective — and will not always give us the results we want.
It can be dreadful, yet if we engage, interact, and respond to Life itself we eventually bare the fruits of an untouched landscape within.
This week,
I have ‘time traveled’ back into my childhood bedroom.
I have reclaimed, remembered, and reconnected to my Inner Child Artist.
I asked myself, “What was your childhood dream? What were you drawn to as a child, what did you want to be? What activities, hobbies, interests, & delights of the world did you enjoy as a child?”
I wanted to be a singer, a songwriter, and performer.
My voice felt like my super power.
As I was brought back to my childhood bedroom I was flooded with memories of when I would write ‘songs’ in my bedroom and sing them to my stuffed animals.
I was shown memories of all the hours I performed & danced for my family.
The memory of an ambitious red headed 7 year old girl, and her dream of being a ‘well-known’ singer.
A bright child, yearning to be on stage, hearing all her fans singing the songs she wrote alone in her bedroom, oh so long ago.
As Artists, Creative Beings, Humans, we all have a ‘Creation Graveyard’.
And when visited we may hear the grief and wholesome ache of the ‘could have been…’, and the ‘if only…’
“If only, I kept singing. If only, I begged my parents for lessons. If only, I had the courage to get on stage… I could have been a folk singer and played at some festival.” (lol)
Reconnecting to this untouched part of Self allowed me to see that it wasn’t about being a singer or a songwriter.
It is the feelings of excitement, liberation, and freedom I seek when I reflect on these memories.
No judgement exists in the liminal space of the childhood bedroom.
You are completely free in your Creations.
There is no such thing as an ‘end result’ or outcome.
You are purely in the craft and practice of being in collaboration with Creation.
I am reminded of the subtle yet profoundly joyful innocence that our Inner Child Artist inherently carries. AND, this feeling and energy is usually available to us in each moment.
However, some of us decide to ignore it, block it out, or shut it down.
Why???
It keeps us boxed up in what we think is safe.
It keeps us creativity blocked from doing the ‘thing’ or taking the risk.
We fear making mistakes or being ‘wrong’.
We are often taught that ‘hard work’ requires sacrificing the elements of the inner child.
It keeps us from the responsibility of confronting, perhaps, where we did not show up for our deepest passions & dreams.
When we reconnect to our Inner Child Artist, we reconnect to our true nature, gifts, divinity and Creative authenticity.
We become free because our Inner Child Artists already are.
I have (yet still am) grieving my ‘Creation graveyard’.
As I have the opportunity to sift through these memories, I am humbled.
I am allowing these past versions to open and to feel safe, welcomed, respected, and nurtured.
It can be as simple as acknowledging a daydream of a ‘could have been’ with new eyes, ears, & an open heart — this naturally moves you into deeper compassion with self & the world around you.
Along the discovery, I’ve learned:
Mistakes are necessary
Creative blocks are a myth and a choice
Compassion transforms blocks
The secret to Trusting yourself is realizing that no one actually knows what’s going on
Creativity & self-expression naturally lead to forgiveness and self-forgiveness
